Personal Post: Twenty Years


Congrats to both of you! It always warms my heart when I read posts like this, as I never gave up hope that relationships like yours do exist even though I myself failed in maintaining the relationship with my long time wife and mother of my son beyond our 20 years of marriage. I reckon you have a wiser or more mature approach than me when I had your age (BTW didn’t you once mention in your podcast that somehow you are constantly having more the approach of a 60-old to life…?). Anyhow, looking back I fully subscribe to your reflection about how a successful and harmonious life together is possible. Wishing you all the best for your future together.

Thanks, man! And sorry to hear about your situation.

I think I was mostly just very lucky to find someone who really fits well with how I am (and could stand an 18 year old having a 60 year old approach to life :grin:). We also moulded each other over these 20 years, which is something you have to let happen and which will annoy you a lot, but in the end both of you end up better for it, I think.

Maybe not having kids also has something to do with it. Not sure about how this is generally applicable, but I can tell you for certain that Katy and I are much happier for it. Plus we never forced the other into a situation they didn’t want. Most marriages that I see falling apart around me are because one partner wants kids and the other doesn’t. And they fall apart both ways: If the partner who doesn’t want to gives in as well as when they don’t. For different reasons, of course.

I am not saying you can’t be happy having kids. There are many examples to the contrary. But we definitely found our niche without them. And I don’t believe it is as much a totally necessary life choice as many people make it out to be. For all the “you’re missing out on so much”, I know a hell of a lot of happy people who don’t have kids.